January 15, 2021

Couples seek genital ‘matchmaking’ to improve lockdown sex

They’re made for each other.

While most people practice social distancing, one plastic surgeon is bringing isolated lovers closer together by enhancing couples’ nether regions for the “perfect fit.” And lovesick pairs are apparently clamoring to undergo the “genital matchmaking” procedure, reported the Daily Mail.

The friction produced by “well-fitting” genitals is proven to increase the chances of orgasm, according to Dr. Lucy Glancey, whose eponymous clinics in the UK specialize in everything from laser hair removal to “designer vaginas.”

The Glancey Medical Associates founder said that “men who frequently masturbate find it difficult to climax during intercourse with a woman” because their hand is more of a “perfect fit” than their partner’s vagina.

To help, Glancey said, she can increase men’s penis girth with filler or even fat from their own body. Female counterparts also can undergo a “combination of a nonsurgical vaginal tightening and surgical labiaplasty” (think lip reduction and fillers but for down under), according to Glancey, who assesses each couple individually to ensure the ideal match.

Unfortunately, women’s vaginas relax as they age, especially after giving birth, the makeover maven said. Glancey’s solution circumvents this problem by improving “vaginal laxity” and preventing a “protruding labia getting in the way,” she said. In turn, both parties can experience rapture in the sack, according to the doctor.

Along with potentially improving one’s love life, the genital face-lift fills the spiritual void, Glancey said, suggesting that her treatments have saved countless marriages.

Here’s hoping it can reverse the skyrocketing divorce rates caused by the coronavirus lockdown.

“Couples now are more educated about what makes them enjoy their sex life even more,” said the cosmetic surgeon. “And one of the things they seek is that perfect fit, like a glove on your hand or a key in a keyhole.”